Anger ranges from irritation at the lower end to rage at the higher end. It is the feeling of displeasure accompanied by antagonism.
You become a little irritated when you are not going to get where you want to be on time, or you are not going to complete your task, as you would want. If the seed of irritation is watered it grows into frustration.
Unless you take some positive inner action to stop the growth of the frustration, it will grow into anger. And if you are not careful it will become a habit, a part of your personality, which you will finally come to believe is a natural part of your nature. You will even convince yourself you were born with it. That it is ‘in the genes’.
Every time you become angry you cause the production of certain chemicals in your body and you will become addicted to those chemicals – then you look for people and situations which will give you an excuse to generate the ‘anger emotion’ so that you can have your daily dose of chemicals. Not only do we become attached to things and people and ideas etc, we become attached to our emotions.
Anger will finally kill the body (not you, but your body). Don’t kill your body. Accept that the anger is never ever productive, know that it is just not necessary to be angry with anyone or about anything, know that it is entirely your own creation and know that you can choose a different response. Know and accept that, and you will be free!
You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger- Buddha.
Mindfulness approach to anger:
1. Acknowledge our anger. Know when you are angry. When you are angry, your breathing become slow & shallow.
2.Accept our anger. Accepting means viewing things as they are with out any judgement.
3. Experience it's full dimension. We can allow angry thoughts and sensations to arise and allow them to fall away by sheer acknowledgement and acceptance.
4. Respond (not react) to the situation wisely and compassionately.
Caring for our mind helps us to handle anger effectively. What does it mean by caring for our mind?
1. paying moment-to-moment attention to our thoughts.
2. making an effort to keep thoughts wholesome.
3. creating a mind of non-attachment to our ideas, opinions, belonging etc.,
4. keeping the body healthy.
Understand your pattern of getting anger- what causes the provocation? Anger tells a lot about ourselves. Like pain, it is a signal telling us something is wrong. It is the indication something needs to change. Look beneath the anger for its cause. Karl Marx called anger as the "Revolutionary Emotion". If we know how to experience anger skillfully, it can help us to bring wholesome changes in ourselves and in the society we live.
We can deal with anger in 3 ways:
2. expression &
Both suppression and expression is ok in the short-term point of view. Both have their long-term repercussion. Forgiveness is less of an act than a way of living. it needs to be cultivated. it is a skill.
" I have been insulted".
"I have been hurt".
" I have been beaten".
" I have been robbed".
Anger and hatred never cease for those who dwell on such(above mentioned) thoughts". - Buddha.
Forgiveness means relinquishment of the power of anger over us. Forgiveness makes us free. It liberates us from the captivity of anger/hatred. Forgiveness is a gift we give to ourselves. "Forgive- they may not deserve, but you deserve the benefits".
When you begin to feel angry or upset, acknowledge the fact that you own your emotions. When you reprimand someone or express your unhappiness, do it privately and try to do so after the urge to fight or defend has subsided. The best way to get your feelings across is when you can speak in a normal voice, without all the warlike body language. Do speak your mind, but criticize the behavior without attacking the other person. When you speak about your anger or dissatisfaction, say, "I feel angry when I see that happening," instead of saying, "You make me angry when you do that." Only you can make you angry, by your reactions to events. When you are upset, go for a walk, or exercise, to release the sudden build-up of adrenaline in your system. And remember, there is no such thing as winning an argument. There is only winning an agreement. Don't engage in "all or nothing" management. If things don't work out exactly the way you had planned them, salvage a good situation. Be willing to compromise on a solution, but never compromise your integrity!
Anger leads to Danger.
Take responsibility for your emotions NOW!